DON’T let the name bother you.
You don’t need to know your Picassos from your Pollocks to stay at the Artist Residence.
You’re not obliged to doodle a masterpiece on the napkin. There will be no humiliating quiz at checkout.
Nonetheless, those of a creative spirit will love this place.
Tucked away in the historic quarter of Penzance, in a tall Georgian house with narrow stairs, this is the kind of retreat that the phrase ‘boutique hotel’ was coined for, and makes the ideal base for discovering the ancient Cornish town.
You won’t find many pirates left in Penzance, contrary to expectations raised by the Jolly Roger fluttering from the 17th-century Admiral Benbow directly opposite.
This inn was the fictional home of Jim Hawkins in Treasure Island, but spare the staff your best Long John Silver impression, “Aahaar Jim lad”; they’ll have heard it before.
Impeccable smokehouse fare at Artists Residence CornwallSleeping quarters at the Residence are decorated in quirky, coastal style. Slate and bleached wood abound. Tea chests serve as tables; raw planks for shelves. Roberts radios are plugged in, and tuned to Radio 3 for your tasteful listening pleasure.
Downstairs, The Cornish Barn smokehouse is usually packed with residents and locals alike, attracted by the superior BBQ-style cooking and the big lit-up signs. We snaffled a bowl of maple and chilli-roasted nuts and fennel salt pork scratchings before getting stuck into parsnip rösti with caramelised onion and goat cheese, chicken wings with apricot and soy, served by the kind of friendly, attractive staff that Cornwall does so well.
Excellent breakfasts are served here too; alternatively, you can have a hamper stuffed with Danish pastries delivered to your room. This is the sort of place where you want the weather report to say, “Deep frontal system moving in, ahead of an even deeper depression. The Met Office advises the public to make no unnecessary journeys.”
The Admiral Benbow - flying the flag for pirates for over 400 yearsEven if your day has been planned around as little activity as possible, at some point you’ll want to get out and explore. The Residence lies on Chapel Street, which runs from the centre of town down to the harbour; this is Penzance’s former main street, and along this thoroughfare have marched (or crept) smugglers, soldiers, sailors, pilgrims, and – yes! – pirates. The now defunct Georgian theatre on the street is said to be where the first public announcement of Nelson’s victory at Trafalgar took place. Elsewhere in town are art galleries, booksellers and the usual sprinkling of antique and charity shops – reputed to contain rich pickings for bling and bric-a-brac aficionados.
Admittedly, the delights of Penzance itself are limited, but this narrow end of the peninsula is the perfect jumping-off point for all the starry beaches and historic little fishing towns so beloved by the guidebooks.
Ease yourself in with a walk along nearby Mount’s Bay, overlooking the fairytale pile of St Michael’s Mount, then head west, taking in the adorable fishing port in Mousehole en route. Remember to call it ‘Muzzle’, or the locals will laugh at you.
Eventually, you’ll hit Land’s End. It’s one of those places you have to tick off your list, bucket or otherwise; a modest enough headland, with some kind of holiday complex thing which you’ll probably want to body-swerve, But it’s still impressive enough, topographically; paths wend their way above cliffs carved out by the waves of the mighty Atlantic Ocean, while seabirds, basking sharks, seals and dolphins regularly put in an appearance.
Looking south - next landfall northern SpainYou also need to stick Porthcurno on the list. A sheltered sandy cove, the waters here are among the warmest waters in these islands, thanks to the Gulf Stream, and somehow manage to look as turquoise as the Caribbean on even a grey November day.
If sunbathing is off the cards, the coastal path winds round the cove, with great viewing points to watch out for passing cetaceans.
It also passes by the Minack, Cornwall’s extraordinary open-air amphitheatre, constructed above a gully with a rocky granite outcrop jutting into the sea. The cast will perform in any weather, so don’t expect your money back if it rains.
See below for a run down on what’s coming up at the Minack.
A day at the theatre, then back to Penzance, maybe for a drink at the Turk’s Head in the heart of the town.
Reputed to date from 1233, it takes its name from the ‘Turks’ — that is, pirates operating from North Africa who were active in the waters round Penzance about that time.
The Turk’s Head was later a haven for pirates and smugglers, who made use of a tunnel running from the pub to the harbour—still visible from the courtyard today.
The Cornish Barn smokehouse at the Artist ResidenceHistory of Penzance
Penzance, on the western tip of Cornwall, has been shaped by its maritime heritage — through trade and indeed military matters, its strategic position near Land’s End has been crucial.
The town's name is derived from the Cornish language a Celtic tongue that is now more or less extinct. Pen Sans in Cornish means “holy headland,” referencing a chapel that once stood on the site of the present-day harbour.
A settlement has existed here since at least the Bronze Age, but Penzance rose to prominence in the medieval period as a market town and fishing port.
It was frequently targeted by pirates and foreign fleets; in 1595, it was infamously raided and burned by Spanish forces—one of the last foreign attacks on English soil.
The 18th and 19th centuries brought prosperity through tin mining, pilchard fishing, and shipping.
The arrival of the railway in 1852 linked Penzance to London, transforming it into a popular destination for Victorian holidaymakers.
The town is closely associated with Cornish identity and heritage, including links to the arts and folklore.
It's also famously referenced in Gilbert and Sullivan’s comic opera The Pirates of Penzance.
Fact file
In a nutshell the Artist Residence combines eclectic luxury with a homely, intimate ambience. The Artists Residence, 20 Chapel Street, Penzance TR18 4AW; 01736 365664; www.artistresidencecornwall.co.uk
Prices from around £230 per night
The Minack Theatre
Northanger Abbey: Jane Austen's classic novel is brought to life from April 30 to May 15, with multiple performances. Minack Theatre
HOWL Vocal Ensemble: This UK-based vocal group performs on May 9.
Music from The Penguin Cafe: Experience their unique sound on May 16.
Seth Lakeman: The acclaimed folk singer-songwriter takes the stage on May 19 and 20.
Songkick
Les Misérables: Let the People Sing: A special community production celebrating the musical's 40th anniversary, running from May 25 to 30. Minack Theatre
Journey to the Stars: A family-friendly show by Squashbox Theatre, exploring the wonders of the universe, from May 26 to 28
See More: Artist Residence, Cornwall, Penzance
