Lord of the Dance
21 Of Eamon Dunphy's Most Savagely Hilarious Put-Downs
Sport

21 Of Eamon Dunphy's Most Savagely Hilarious Put-Downs

EAMON DUNPHY has announced his departure from RTE's much-loved football panel and coverage of the beautiful game in Ireland may never be the same again.

Whether you love him or hate him, Dunphy has been an essential part of the national broadcaster's football output over the years.

Once part of a winning trio of pundits that also included Johnny Giles and Liam Brady, Dunphy was the pundit who made no bones about cutting players, managers and even some fellow pundits down to size.

Brutally honest but also downright funny, here are just a few of his most memorably amusing put-downs from times gone by.

21. On Harry Kewell:

"He's fat and a clown, Bill, a fat clown for all to see."

20. On Niall Quinn:

"Niall Quinn is a creep. The man's an idiot, a Mother Theresa."

19. On Steven Gerrard:

"Found out. A nothing player."

[Mandatory Credit ©INPHO/Donall Farmer]

18. On Kevin Kilbane:

"Kilbane's head is better than his feet. If only he had three heads, one on the end of each leg."

17. On Jose Mourinho:

"We'll all see through Mourinho. We'll find out he's just a Bengal Lancer."

16. On Luis Garcia:

"They should put Garcia where he belongs, in the dustbin."

 15. Giovanni Trappatoni:

"A drunken gambler in the casino throwing chips on the table."

14. On Cristiano Ronaldo:

"Ronaldo is a disgrace to the game. His petulance, temperament, throwing himself on the ground. It was a disgrace to professional football. This fella Ronaldo is a cod."

13. On Mick McCarthy:

"He's one of the biggest whingers in world football… he's a bloody eejit."

(Picture: Facebook/TV3)

12. On Zinedine Zidane:

"Not a great player."

11. On Terry Venables:

"This man's CV is riddled with failure and worse than failure."

10. On Steve Staunton:

"Would you let him drive the train to Cork?"

9. On Rio Ferdinand:

"Ferdinand is a clown"

8. On Michel Platini:

"Michel Platini has no bottle. He is not a great player."

7. On John Giles:

"Usually it takes a bottle of Bacardi and a gallon of Coke to get John out of his seat."

[Picture: Inpho]

6. On Garth Crooks interviewing Sven Goran Eriksson:

"That's the first time I've seen sex between two men on the BBC."

5. On John Hartson:

"That is NOT the arse of a £7 million player!"

4. On Match of the Day:

"They just talk drivel. Whoever is winning is great, whoever isn't, isn't. It's banal. And also semi-literate at times … they never criticise in an intelligent way. Anything that isn't banal is said to be an outburst. They've created this cartoon world where everyone talks like Lineker and says nothing."

3. On Diego Maradona:

"Not a great player."

2. On Liam Brady:

"He is often looked on as a great player. He is nothing of the kind. His performance on Wednesday was a disgrace, a monument to conceit adorned with vanity and self-indulgence, rendered all the more objectional by the swagger of his gait."

1. On himself:

"I'll have you know that I am not a failed Third Division footballer…I am a failed Second
Division footballer."