Lord of the Dance
Irish in Britain second best to Irish Americans in the eyes of junket-hungry politicians
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Irish in Britain second best to Irish Americans in the eyes of junket-hungry politicians

IT’S NEARLY St Patrick’s Day and that means lots of things: community spirit, GAA jerseys, rain, leprechaun beards, drink, fights, All-Ireland club finals, cultural events, Darby O’Gill on telly, drink, corporate opportunism, green wigs, drink, the diaspora.

Today we’re concerned with the latter.

As a member of the diaspora I hate the term ‘diaspora’. It has an onomatopoeic quality to it – as if the nation had a heavy night on the stout and the next day excreted a great many of its citizens out the back door with so much force that some of them were deposited on the western fringes of Auckland.

But it seems to be only myself that has a problem with the term ‘diaspora’. Politicians and officials (all the important people) love it. So for this column we’ll lift the self-imposed ban on the word.

Politicians and officials go even more diaspora crazy than usual in and around St Patrick’s Day.

This year 27 ministers from our cash-strapped motherland will visit 23 countries, selling Ireland as the best small country in the known galaxy in which to do business.

Every year the humble citizens tut-tut about the apparent extravagance and then shrug their shoulders as the explanations roll in. To pick the justification de jour just pick a couple of phrases from the following list, give them a shake and read aloud.

“Brand Ireland”
“new emerging markets”
“BRICS”
“if you’re not moving forward you’re standing”
“tireless networking”
“vital trade links”
“exacting schedule”
“doors open”
“unique window of opportunity”
“harvest the goodwill”
“diaspora”

Only a cynic would scoff at all this and cynics and begrudgers have no place in the best small country west of Britain and east of America ©. So we’re going to accept that these junkets trade missions are worth the effort and expense.

Pharaoh play lads... 'brand Ireland' in all its glory Pharaoh play lads... 'brand Ireland' in all its glory

We are, however, confused as to why some destinations are given priority. Here in Britain – a land where 420 Irish people a week move to from Ireland – we will receive two ministers: Pat Rabbitte in Birmingham and London, Jan O’Sullivan in Scotland.

So, England – a country that has over 400,000 Irish-born residents and St Patrick’s events in London, Birmingham, Liverpool, Manchester, Huddersfield, Derby, Bristol, Leeds, Nottingham and Luton to name a few – gets the same amount of ministerial visitors as Vietnam, Norway, Lebanon and Romania.

What’s going on?

Are our politicians afraid they might actually meet a lot of Irish people if they came here?

Or perhaps the challenge of selling the prospect of a holiday to Ireland to the natives would be unappealing? It’s so close and cheap to get to? Where’s the challenge in that?

What about our trade links with Britain? Well, in January to November of last year €12.8bn’s worth was exported here, that’s from a worldwide total of €80.3 billion. Surely in the best small country in which to do business they know that you’re better off targeting those with a long record of buying from you … Prioritise your better customers and all that.

Well, that certainly seems to be the case with the USA.

Ireland exported €16.8bn to the States from January to November in 2013. To capitalise on this undoubtedly lucrative relationship and to meet and greet the Irish Americans we’ll have Enda Kenny (in New York, Boston and Washington DC), Joan Burton (New York), Jimmy Deenihan (San Francisco), James Reilly (Boston and Cleveland), Leo Varadkar (Atlanta and Savannah), Marie Whelan (Washington DC) and Sean Sherlock (Chicago and Kansas City). I think they’ve forgotten about Duluth, Minnesota somehow.

Surely Britain – a country responsible for 16 per cent of exports – deserves more than two out of 27 ministers?

Surely it’s not unreasonable to at least expect them to put in a showing in Liverpool and Manchester as well as London, Birmingham and Scotland?

Wouldn’t Alan Shatter be better off here than Mexico (no, don’t say we’re trying to grow trade here and not diminish it and that Mexico isn’t far away enough from him – that’s grossly unfair to the distinguished Minister for Justice).

Anybody that’s lived in Britain for a couple of years or more will have encountered the theory that emigrants here aren’t lauded by the great and good at home like our cousins across the Atlantic are.

America is the land of advancement; a nation where we ran police services from New York to LA, where we built the skyscrapers and reached the White House by the early 1960s.

When the Irish in Britain are celebrated at home – if they are celebrated at all – it’s for more modest achievements ... Didn’t they have to put up with a lot of discrimination … no blacks no dogs no Irish! Didn’t they do back-breaking labour? Didn’t they all turn to drink and die lonely deaths in sparse bedsits?

There is a degree of truth to those stereotypes, though as books like Irish London During the Troubles by Seán Sorohan show, the Irish in Britain achieved highly and had a largely positive experience.

And are we to believe that nobody fell foul of alcoholism or loneliness in Boston or Chicago? Of course they did, but that is not the defining narrative.

Despite the fact that the doors to new Irish emigrants to the US are mainly shut now, we continue to treat the US as the land of opportunity. To be fair, as the trade figures show, it is still our biggest market for goods and services.

Britain, though, offers far more opportunity to far more Irish people than America does. It also offers far more opportunity to the Irish state than, I dare say, Norway, Romania or the Lebanon.

If it’s a choice of one or the other, hopefully the ministerial diaspora of early 2015 will feature more Merseyside and less Vietnam.

For the season that’s in it, we’ll sign off as Gaelige. Is glas na cnoic i bhfad uainn – distant hills look green.