THIRTY years after the IRA’s Brighton bomb killed her father, Jo Berry claims she can now call the man who planted it a “friend”.
The daughter of Sir Anthony Berry MP, one of six killed in the blast at the Grand Hotel on October 12 1984, has spent more than a decade in conversation with Patrick Magee, who was convicted of the atrocity.
“I do now call Patrick my friend,” Berry admits, “but sometimes I can still get frustrated and it’s difficult emotionally. As with any relationship things can go wrong and suddenly everything is there, it might not just be the incident on the day; it can lead back to everything that happened before.”
Speaking to The Irish Post ahead of an event organised by Berry’s Building Bridges for Peace charity, to mark today's 30 year anniversary of the Brighton bombing, the peace-builder outlined the 14 years she has spent working with Patrick on peace and reconciliation platforms across the globe.
“I was 27 when my father was killed, and within two days of that it was important for me to find something positive out of it, to bring some meaning and to even understand those who killed him,” Berry explained.
“It was only early to make that commitment, but it was a commitment and it was a positive choice which I think I made was because of the person I already was, before the bomb went off.”
She adds: “I was already interested in peace and spiritual things so following developments in the peace process, when the IRA prisoners were released, I decided that would be a good time to meet Patrick.”
Belfast-born Magee was the only man convicted for the Brighton explosion and was sentenced to multiple life sentences for his part in the attack.
He was controversially released in 1999, under the Good Friday Agreement, after serving just 14 years. The pair met for the first time in 2000.
“I thought it would be a one off meeting,” says Berry. “I met him to see the human face behind the label. I met him to hear his story and see the human being; I wanted to go beyond the label of terrorist, or whatever label you want to give them.
“But I did imagine it would be a one off meeting and that would be that and instead it became very clear from the first meeting that there was a lot to explore.”
Over the past 14 years both Berry and Magee have gone on personal journeys, which they have shared with one another and documented on the public stage.
Now, as they approach the 30th anniversary of the bombing which intertwined their lives forever, they are preparing to publicly discuss the anniversary and the lessons both have learnt over the years in Brighton on Sunday, October 12.
“We’ve come a long way,” Berry says. “When we first met Patrick felt he was there to explain himself on a political level, but then it became very personal for him. He began to realise that he was guilty of demonising the other in the same way that he had accused the others of demonising him.
"He started to realise both sides and that it was actually about human beings. He began seeing that he killed a human being as opposed to a legitimate target or a means to an end of a strategy, devoid of humanity, and that made him want to carry on speaking with me – and that’s why it carried on.”
Berry adds: “I would not have carried on meeting him if it had just been him politically defending his position.
“For me too I now have understanding of what he did and why, it’s not always there but I have it and its growing. But it’s not about condoning the behaviour, to me that is completely different.
“I am still completely committed to nonviolence, as I have been since I was about 10 years old. But there is a difference between empathising, understanding and condoning and I am very clear that violence as a strategy, in my mind, never works, but I know that I am quite unusual in that.”
She adds: “And at this stage I think it’s harder for Patrick actually, I feel it was easier for him when he thought it was just a political decision, it’s much harder now that he realises the depth of the loss that I have been through and that he killed a wonderful man. It was much easier when it was just a target.”
The pair, who have given peace talks in Rwanda, Palestine, Israel and Bosnia over the years, will take part in an afternoon workshop at The Old Market venue in Brighton today, the 30th anniversary of the bombing.
The event, organised by Berry’s Building Bridges for Peace charity, will give young people a chance to “explore peace making”, she claims, which remains her passion.
“Patrick and I are on a journey which has been going for 14 years now and is not finished yet,” Berry admits, “and we want to use our experience and our journey to, I suppose, inspire change in others, or to inspire new conversations.
“When people see us together, two people who should be enemies and not speaking, when they see us speaking with respect and dignity and empathy, then that facilitates a different conversation and I have seen that in many places – in Palestine and Israel and more recently in Sarajevo, even among young people in Northern Ireland, it creates a safe space for people to explore issues in their own lives, maybe in a different way.”
She adds: “So I go back to my commitment to bringing something positive from my experience. If I can facilitate or empower someone to do something different, or empower them to do what they were doing but more of it then that makes me feel better.
“My passion is peace, I suppose. It’s grown over the years, and within that empathy has become really important - being able to empathise with the enemy. It’s really hard to do as our instant reaction is always to blame and make someone else wrong, but I think people don’t change if they feel wrong, if they are told they are wrong and bad then they carry on doing the same things.
“It’s only by empathy and understanding the real reason they are doing what they are doing that can make a difference and that is about storytelling, listening to peoples stories, rather than intellectually arguing or politically debating against them, as it runs much deeper than that.”
