Belfast born and bred, Gerard Donaghy lists some of the unique experiences of being a Northern Irishman living in England for almost two decades...
1. People within earshot of your phone calls home think you’re a bit weird when you call your parents ‘mummy’ and ‘daddy’.
2. George Best? Stephen Rea? CS Lewis? Forget it. Corrie’s Jim McDonald (actor Charlie Lawson) is somehow the biggest cultural icon the North has ever produced.
3. You think, “My God, do I really sound like that?” when an English person does a Jim McDonald impression upon meeting you for the first time.
4. Supermarket staff thought you were taking the mick when asking for seemingly imaginary bakery products like 'potato bread', 'soda bread' or 'Veda bread'.
5. You’ve witnessed the bizarre sight of Celtic and Rangers fans, wearing their colours, watching a Glasgow Derby match in the same bar without any bother.
6. You learn not to ask for “a chip” in the chip shop, otherwise a sarcastic/confused chippie will reply, “What mate, you only want a single chip, do ya?”
7. You discovered Buckfast isn’t just a cheap tonic wine but is also a real monastic abbey in Devon.
8. You’ve met people who didn’t realise Buckfast isn’t just a monastic abbey in Devon but is also a cheap tonic wine.
9. Lemonade now only comes in one colour. Asking for 'vodka and white' will only lead to the barman's bewilderment and your embarrassment.
10. When your friends were shocked by the August 2011 riots across Britain, you adopted an air of nonchalance. "What, that? Sure we see that every summer."
11. You've had several rows with shopkeepers/waiters/bus drivers that have culminated with the defence: "But it's legal tender!"
12. The train becomes a regular mode of transport, no longer just for exotic holidays to far-flung destinations like Portrush or Dublin.
13. When your English friends say they’re embarrassed by the archaic views of Ukip MPs, you’re too scundered to tell them you come from a place where politicians still think the world is only 6,000 years old, gay people are still not allowed to donate blood and banning Ouija boards is a top political priority.
14. As far as you're concerned, Primark is, and always will be, pronounced ‘Pre-mark’.