IRISH people have revealed the top annoyances which make living in modern Ireland a pain in the proverbial backside.
From non-drinkers being treated like lepers to the “It’ll be grand” attitude (when things are anything but), Irish society – as with anywhere else – has its fair share of drawbacks.
Here are nine of the most annoying things about Irish society today...
1. No, everything isn’t going to be “grand”…
There’s a tendency among the Emerald Isle’s finest to abuse the phrase, “It’ll be grand” – which would be grand if everything indeed turned out to be grand. But not everything can be grand, or we’d be grand.
What “It’ll be grand” actually translates to is, “It won’t be grand, but I either don’t care of care too much to deal with it right now, if ever”. Maybe one day we’ll rely on the phrase a little less, but regardless, it probably won't be grand anyway.
2. Teetotaller shaming…
Like it or not, the Irish are stereotyped as being some of the heaviest drinkers in Europe (if not the world). But less discussed is how we treat teetotallers as if they have a debilitating ailment.
You’ll be looked at quare to say the very least if you ask for orange juice at a bar. And like a leper if you order water of all things. The most annoying thing about teetotaller shaming though is people assuming teetotallers think they’re superior – instead of just being responsible.
3. Getting away with murder…
Since the Celtic Tiger gasped its dying breath back in 2008, there’s been a sense in Ireland that those in high-up positions – be they politicians, bankers and the like – have more often gotten away with golden handshakes instead of less delightful consequences.
This is where the “It’ll be grand” attitude really rears its ugly head. Some might argue that it’s that exact attitude which results in the perception that no one needs to take any serious action about anything. And don’t get us started on the unpaid tab at the Dáil bar.
4. We need to talk about the “just messing” thing…
There’s another annoying tendency to brush things off in Ireland – and it all comes down to the phrase “just messing”. This roughly translates to “only joking”, but life can’t be a laugh 24/7 or we’d all be having a grand old time.
To be fair it’s not only an Irish thing, doesn’t the phrase “it was only a bit of fun” spring to mind? What about “toughen up”? Sure, but we suppose it’ll all be grand anyway.
5. Rumours spreading like wildfire…
Ireland is a small country. Sure, we don’t all know each other, but we know someone who knows someone (who knows yer one did that thing that one time). The clique mentality in Ireland is one thing they don’t tell you about in the tourist guides.
Some things are human nature. “Abita gossip, sure,” is grand – but spend any time away from home and you’ll be glad to be away from the grapevine.
6. People taking compliments like insults…
Listen, there’s little more grating than someone who constantly bombards you with compliments (thankfully James Corden isn’t Irish, or this would be even more relevant), but Irish people’s inability to take a compliment can often verge on the infuriating.
We get it. Bragging is bad. But that doesn’t mean everyone has to respond to a compliment by denigrating themselves as if they’re the worst thing since unsliced bread. Everybody likes humble people but come on, you’re a top fella, just accept it.
7. Only in Ireland…
Another admittedly small (but irritating) tradition us Irish love to dabble in is assuming a problem exists nowhere else on the planet except between our own shores, before signing off with the tired adage, “Only in Ireland”.
A video of a goat causing havoc in a supermarket? “Only in Ireland”. No, Wales might have something to say to that. Politicians getting away with murder again? “Only in Ireland”. You get the picture. Only in Ireland could people forget that the outside world has its own craic to deal with.
8. The roads...
We’re not saying this is an “only in Ireland” scenario (India, we’re looking at you), but Irish roads are not the place to drive if “arrive alive” is a philosophy you like to live by.
When you pull a bad driver up it’s always someone else’s fault. If not a person, then the sheep. And that’s without mentioning the drink driving. In short, why do we think we’re a special case? Driving is a privilege not a right, someone once said. But we suppose they were getting notions about themselves anyway. And on that note…
9. The jealousy/notions…
And last but certainly not least, you guessed it – we’re talking notions. Achieved success? Done slightly well for yourself? Well, in most other countries you’d get a “fair play”, but in Ireland – beware of the notions. And don’t be getting any.
Bono may have sold tens of millions of albums and be well on his way to being a billionaire, but the man wears sunglasses indoors – notions! That Irish bloke on YouTube? Did you hear how much he's making? Shameful. Oh, the notions.
Listen here, if you’re thinking of moving to Ireland, forget success. Or at the very least, pretend you're doing terribly (see point six if you need any help).
