AS FAR AS comedian Tara Flynn is concerned Irish women are both awesome and terribly wise.
Here in an extract from her hilarious debut novel she reveals the ancient secrets of the Irishwoman’s all-purpose ‘You’re grand’ philosophy…
1. Don’t put up with any nonsense: This doesn’t necessarily mean you deal directly with every issue —or even any issue —you come across, but you should definitely moan loudly about it later.
2. Talk about the weather all the time but never be equipped for what it’s actually doing right at that moment. That’d be much too straightforward. You’re going for complexity here. As mentioned earlier, being contrary is our stock in trade.
3. Do things “against all odds”. Because there are a lot of odds against you, so you might as well do the things anyway.
4. Be fierce. Not in an America’s Next Top Model kind of way (although we are pretty expert at stomping). Our wrath is mighty: an Irishwoman can wither anything or anyone with just a look. Use this power wisely.
5. Drink tea (sometimes called “tay”). We can and will debunk certain stereotypes, but this one is true. There is nothing that can’t be made better with tea.
6. Know very little about your family’s heritage. There’s just too much. It’d weigh you down. Leave it to your foreign cousins —it’ll give you something to talk about when they come over.
7. Carry a map of Ireland with you everywhere you go. You need to be acutely aware of where you come from —literally and figuratively —and where you’re going. Even if there isn’t any wifi.
8. Be a fast walker. We are, apparently, the fastest in Europe. Aim to beat the hair-frizzing moisture in the air by staying a few paces ahead of it.
You're Grand: The Irishwoman's Secret Guide To Life is published by Hachette Ireland and available now in print and ebook
